I'm not worthy of your time.

   Just like a ciggeratte.

I'll quit you.

Just like a rainy day.

You wash everything away.

Dreams are nothing but far.

It's like a night at the bar.

I'm nothing but a failure.

I won't ever see the life you lead.

I'm not a role model.

Just throw my life away in a bottle.

I want to tell you.

That i love every moment i see you. Cherish every conversation we have. You've showed me a life i didn't know I could have. I save every piece of memory that we had so i wont forget, and write down all our inside jokes. I write down every piece of information from when we hung out. I laugh with you and act like I'm okay without telling you the thoughts on my mind. I fear your thoughts. I fear your opinions. And you make me feel on top of the world. I can't describe any of this. Everytime you leave back to school, my heart breaks a little inside. I hate these goodbyes we share.I'm young, I'm weak, not strong at all.. Everytime i say goodbye i hold you like I'll never see you again. Everytime I see a couple walking down the street I think of how we could be. Everytime you leave I try to pretend every feeling I have with you didn't happen, and I move on. And then when you come back, all my trying of moving on goes away. I forget the single life. I feel your warmth. I feel your smile. I feel your hug. You bring every smile my mouth holds out of me. You bring the deepest conversations out of me. And you bring the very best out of me. Your kindness blinds me. You fill my heart to the very top. And when you leave, It's like all the air out of my lungs is taken from me, and I'm lost. I'm so lost. I just recovered from your welcome, and now your gone again. I don't think you'll completely understand how hard this is on me. All your friends talk about you, and whenever I hear your name, a lump forms in my throat. I always think about how I could've told you, and how just maybe things wouldn't be painful right now.These guys I don't even look twice at go crazy after me, and everytime they do, I think of how you are just a couple miles away..I guess I'm too late. & I guess I don't know what I'm doing anymore. We are too close of friends for this to ruin it. I can't tell anyone this, and It's so hard. I want to tell you, That I love you.

When CGI takes over, they make movies like Avatar.

Admit it. When You saw the trailer for Avatar, you were blown away by how "realistic" it looked, and how it gave you a natural high when watching it. I, wasn't impressed. I guess that's because they keep calling It the next Star Trek and Star Wars. I wouldn't go that far.. people just aren't used to the new technology in the filming industry called CGI. It's basically the art of creating moving images on a computer. Which is pretty impressive if you see how far we've come with animation. (especially when the rate of CGI is an average of 24-30 frames a second) here's an example of how CGI looks when being made:

If you haven't already heard, James Cameron waited 15 years untill he made Avatar, just because he didn't have the animation for it. It was supposed to be released in 1997, the same year he made Titanic. I'm glad he waited, because honestly the movie Avatar would look like a piece of shit without CGI.
I'm not trying To bash James Cameron's work, Titanic, The Abyss, The Terminator, and Aliens were all very enjoyable to watch, but I feel as if Avatar was more impressive on the technical level of animation than a good storyline. I felt like I was watching a video game for 2 hours..It was a different aspec on the rest of Cameron's films..

Also! The fact that the movie was made in 2D and 3D ruined it. When you make a movie in 3D, you should have things jumping out at you. I went to go see it in both versions, and i didn't see a difference at all. The 3D version was just an "airbrushed" version of the 2D, and the color wasn't that great. It definately wasn't worth paying extra money, and having my eyes hurt for 2 hours.Another thing is, when I see a movie like that in 3D, i think of how it would feel watching it on my tv at home. It's not something I would want to watch again. If anything the experince in the Theater was better.

As Much As he spent on this movie, ($237 million) I think he could've made a better storyline. I will give him one positive critique though, he does have an eye for imaginative filmmaking.

Nirvana: A State of Mind

Not To start off Reglious or anything, but buddhisum gave me a great idea for a blog....

The word Siddhartha is made up of two words in the Sanskrit laguage, sidda (achieved) and artha (meaning or wealth) Together, the words mean "One who has found the meaning of existence" or someone who has obtained goals. So far, I've lived my life without goals. When I look back on everything I went through, I wonder What I've accomplished. I look around, and everyone has reached their goals. No one seems to be as exposed as me. I've seen too much. And I guess that relates back to the Four Noble Truths, Suffering, It's nature, It's origin, It's cessation, and the path leading to it's cessation. My life has changed so many times, that I don't even know where I stand anymore. It's almost like a repeating Visicous circle, my problems lead to another, and the solution of those problems & or arising problems from it, bring me back to the first. Right now, In this point and time, I'm finally doing the things I loved and gave up on years ago. Yet I know, after the endings of this school year, the path will change yet again. I Really need to Reconnect with myself. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. That's only because no one can completely "understand" and to have someone understand is the world to me, Also Things affect me far more than they affect others. I'm really Rambling off and getting all over the place with my topic, and that is mainly because I don't fully understand it. My New Years Resolution is to find the meaning of existence, and achieve some type of Nirvana, by blowing out greed, hatred and delusion and enter a perfect state of mind that is free.

P.S. Miss.Jones would be estatic if she saw my blog about buddhism! :D :D